[L.A.] Uncharted 3

I’ll keep this short:

So, just played Uncharted 3 for around an hour. Haven’t played the first two iterations in the series, so most of the information is from the mouth of another. Nothing like second-hand opinions. That said, I’ve played enough of it to actually think it’s pretty bad-crap insane.

The story is well-thought out, based primarily on rumors of ancient treasure-stories and explorers, Francis Drake and Lawrence of Arabia being the core of it. It also differs from previous Uncharted games that concentrate on the relationship between Nathan Drake (protagonist) and Elena (“really annoying reporter-girl that he, you-know, has sex with, but still has an amazing computerized ass to make up for the annoyingness”), this game concentrates on the relation between Drake and his mentor, Sully. The characters have amazing depth, the protagonist seeming like an uncanny off-spring between Indiana Jones and Horatio Caine. The enemies succeed in making you want to kick their teeth in or alternatively smash their faces through with a saucepan, while keeping to their secretive nature.

The gameplay is fun, and the graphics essentially strip the title of “game,” and replaces it with “movie where you can control the main character to shoot shit up.” The jumping and climbing have a few bugs that need to be sorted out by Naughty Dog, not being as smooth as Ubisoft’s Assassin’s Creed free-running… But the shooting eases the frustration of running head-first into a wall in the middle of a chase.

L.A. out.

Thanks to “Jack of Trades” for supplying some of the info.

Most of it.

Almost all of it.

Anything after the first paragraph.



[Jack Of Trades] I keep a can of bat-shark-repellent handy…

Review of Batman: Arkham Asylum

Good Morning/Day/Evening everyone! And welcome to the asylum!

Here is my first review of a game and as it happens, it’s the game that features first brought one of most iconic superheroes of all time to te world of modern gaming, Batman! The game itself utilizes all of Batman’s iconic moments and moves, and for the nostalgic nerd, it is nothing more than a wet dream!

The plot of the story is brilliant, in simplicity and canon with the Batman universe. The game opens with Batman bringing the Joker into the Asylum after an attack on city hall. He is uneasy of the ease of his capture and thus follows the Joker into the Asylum. Later, his suspicion is confirmed as the Joker escapes and takes over the asylum, leaving Batman trapped and alone, but never helpless… Batman must fight his way through the crazies, utilizing everything in his arsenal and saving everyone in need.

The gameplay is fun, fast and different from other games. In a fight Batman can utilize all the combat moves and gadgets under(or on, as the case may be) his belt. Otherwise, Batman can sneak around picking off enemies one by one stealthily after surveying an area with his “detective vision/mode.” Here is where the player must face a new challenge, fighting the urge to whisper “I’m batman” after sneaking up or hanging behind an enemy, before pouncing on your prey!!! Plus, the player must also solve a fiendish amount of riddles and puzzles from everyone’s favorite puzzlier, the Riddler. This huge group of side missions will keep the player occupied for hours outside of the normal missions and is a great way to build up experience. As for the graphics, when AA came out in 2009 it was at the top of its league, with a high level of quality and filled with industrial grays, green, pinks and reds making it look immense and deep.

Overall then, B:AA is an immense game, and, despite its increasing age, is still one of the best fun a person could get out of a video game.

-Jack of Trades.

Battlefield: Bad Company 2 review

Yo sup, it’s Clover. Got the stuff? Wait, wrong person, apologies. I’ll go to the matter in hand. Bad Company 2, bloody hell it’s good. The story might not be that good but the gameplay was damn solid and the multiplayer is the golden feature on the whole disk. I love the multiplayer, it is the best multiplayer I have ever played and nothing any of you old veteran Battlefield players say will change my mind. While I do say that the story is OK, the characters were all different in a hilarious way and a huge contrast to the other. You could obviously tell this game wouldn’t or at least couldn’t take itself seriously as of the ridiculous situations the four gunmen of the military apocalypse found themselves in. The story was far-fetched but what do you expect out of a game that clearly knows of itself as a joke but I would much rather play this over the top shooter than a shout of task.

I’ll start off with the visuals, the thing I like the most is the ambience of the environments. When I play the game, there’s dust in the air that the sunlight points out, I don’t know if it’s true but I can see it. The lighting itself is damn good. The light stops when a surface appears and many games don’t do this. The light appears even on your gun as you move by a window and if you move slowly the sunlight will also follow. One word for all this, immersion, it clearly prides itself on the aesthetics to make it believable enough to think the places you on-screen are real, especially with a HDMI cable. The Frostbite engine does a great job with the visuals but also with the audio. One time I swear I filled my trousers when hearing a sniper bullet whizz past my ear, I don’t play much horror games so I can safely say it’s the scariest thing ever if the bullet goes by your face a third of an inch. ALways makes me think twice about joining the military, yet so does the tank when it blows me up after spotting me a mile away.I couldn’t tell what made the hole, the tank shell or my shit flying out of my bum hole.

I really enjoyed the presence of the characters in this game, Hags, Sarge, Preston and Sweetwater, all 4 had great chemistry together throughout the whole story… well maybe not Marlowe, he was a bit of a mute douche through the whole thing while the rest of them we’re yapping away like it’s a family dinner. I’m guessing they were going for the everyman approach to try to suit everybody, if they wanted that they shouldn’t have given him a name and have Sweetwater shouting “Great shot, Marlowe!” But it doesn’t deter me from thinking it’s great. I can quote this game as well as I can quote Scott Pilgrim, especially when you stand around and do nothing. When you stand still for long enough they’ll start talking about scenes from Predator, apple pie, smoothies, the list could be endless. Another great line was the Dallas cowboys one where they asked who goes to war in a cowboy hat? Obviously cowboys. These are great minds.

The multiplayer is my favorite part of the whole game, The spawning system is the best I’ve seen so far in any multiplayer and the number of players you can get are clearly much better than Call Of Duty, there are 24 players to each match but it wold be better if it was something like 32, 2 extra squads would have been interesting. The maps were clearly made for tactical thinking and it should be used and respected as such, not for camping (hint). I always like to think which way I’ll go deal with a tightly positioned camper next. They’re easy to dispose of if you know the maps well and seeing as I have been playing it for a while now I think I know each of them quite well. The classes always benefit the other in a different way, they’re all as important as the other one, except for Recon, Recon is the class that is there yet has no use. The level progression took a little while to do but I have managed to unlock all the inventory items including perks. There hasn’t been a time where I was bored out of my mind in this feature but I never really found any use of the shotguns. I always used the rifles instead seeing as whenever i tried to shoot people with the shotgun, it never actually worked. If you ask what my favorite weapons are they’re; SV-98, M-60, M-416 and AKS-74U.

The vehicles are handy as well as easy enough to shoot down so there is a fair game for everyone. The helicopters are simpler to fly in this than BF:3 I’ll tell you that much for start. I could actually be a transport helicopter, carrying troops from one side of the map to the other so we could fight our battles faster. Some of them stayed on to use te miniguns but fair enough I needed the protection, so usually that meant only transporting 3 or 4 people at a time but it is a whole squad so who cares. It’s also handy to stow away an engineer at the back so they can repair the chopper when you’re getting shot at. You can do the same thing with a hind but not an apache so I always look forward to being in the russian team, This tactic really helps your team in getting the winning points You can also do this with tanks and cars. The ATVs are for moving in quickly and swiftly, I would recommend Recon use them most of the time because of their need to move fast around the map to different positions. The tank would be well suited for the engineers, be it light or heavy armor but the rest were made for all classes. Mainly for transportation is my guess.

As with he weapons, the sub-machine guns are clearly overpowered in comparison to assault rifles and that pisses me off, especially when I deliver ten rounds in the chest of an enemy with an M416 and lives while he can shoot my in the leg twice with a UZI and I die. Why are subs overpowered in every game I play, annoys me a lot… luckily they tuned down the range so long-range would be impossible, balancing bitches, it works. But whenever somebody tells me this is a Call Of Duty copycat I shout “IDIOT” in their faces and say “bad idiot gamers! Very bad!” Catchphrases, they stick with you.

THis has definitely become one of my favorite games and if I ever make a top ten list of the past 5 years this will be in there, no questions asked. people keep telling me it’s the worst battlefield in the whole series but a game doesn’t have to be like it’s ancestors to be good, games have to change all the time otherwise it’s the same thing over and over. I’ll talk about Vietnam later.

I give it a 9/10.

Clover out.

[L.A.] Kill Them Like The Rest

Clover will get pissy if I don’t post anything. Probably. The reason behind it is, naturally, either lack-of topic or lack-of time to spend writing up stuff, due to working… But I digress:

I’ve been re-doing my room, and that’s given me time tofish out my old PS2 and blow off some time just sitting under the bed, letting my eye-sight degrade to shit. It’s fun.

One of the games I’ve found was Dragon Ball Z: Budokai Tenkaichi 3 (GTA: San Andreas, Spiderman 3 and FFVII: Dirge of Cerberus notwithstanding). I bought a second-hand copy of Ultimate Tenkaichi on the ‘360 a few weeks ago.

I’ve already traded it back in.

Fact is, it doesn’t compare to the older iteration of the franchise for me. The story seems a lot better. The only thing that made the game even slightly worth-while was the character-creation, and even that felt limited.

Long-story short? I prefer the older version. End of. I may get DBZ:UT again sometime, but that’s only after I either get bored of BT3 or just get the hankering for the improved graphics.

Also, for those of you who haven’t watched it, the title is a reference to TeamFourStar’s Dragonball Z Abridged series. Enjoy.


Good news everyone!

You just read that in his voice! Moving on.

Clover here. The Xbox somehow fixed itself and I am now back online! Let us all rejoice and… nobody rejoicing? Fuck you too then.

Clover out.


Clover here. It appears I have 3 MMOs to tuck my teeth into now, I have SWTOR  and Guild Wars 2 according to Liam and then Firefall from discovery. It looks pretty good, take a look, it doesn’t look bad.

I also might be getting a new mid level gaming computer and fibre-optic broadband soon. With that I’ll purchase an HD capture card. Look forward to videos in the near future friends.

Clover out.


Forza 3

Clover here. I apologize beforehand about the picture sizes. I could’t find better smaller ones. I am quite proud to admit that this is one of my favorite racing games ever. I also have the sequel but I’ll write about that in the future. Many people, like me, call this a racing game while others call it a car simulation which is completely understandable due to the amount of engine customization on it, but I don’t notice that, I just buy whatever upgrade that makes my car better, I don’t look at the weight or anything. I just like to drive fast in my games. Anyways, down to the specifics.

I would like to mention that the game has a very good selection of cars in there. My favorites consist of Chevrolet Camaro SS, Lamborghini Diablo SV and Koenigsegg CCGT. Don’t ask me why, I just fucking love those cars, they’re fast and they can turn better than a GT500 Shelby. The career offers you hundreds of cars with each level you gain. The races become really long after reaching about level 35 or 40 but it makes sense, faster cars, longer races. Another awesome thing is I bought a Firebird, F class, and upgraded it into a black R3 badass. If you ever wanted to be a professional car racer you can do it in this game because the level of customization is amazing, I loved that car after I upgraded it. I love having old American cars like 1960s Chevy Camaro and upgrading them into modernized beasts. It’s also helpful that you have the obvious range of slow and up to super fast cars. I’ve managed to become attached to this more than my favorites modern shooters… I’m being sarcastic by the way.

The controls clearly vary between the different cars.Because I’ve become used to the game I can tell which one just sucks and which one doesn’t. As a British person I always select the European cars to actually race in, always have been better performers than American. The controls, as I have mentioned, are superior in say a Mercedes or Audi than a Ford or Pontiac. Sometimes when I get a little bit off the track my car does spin a little out of control (AHEM) but it’s probably just my fault. What I do find irritating is it doesn’t show you how to drift and I really do not know how to drift in this game… is it fair to say I suck at it or more of a straight forward go race person? I’d say the latter mainly to not depress and insult myself. Anyways yes, the controls are great but I always upgrade and tune it just to make it even better.

My storefront experience was mainly just buying a few cars, selling my Firebird (tear) and downloading some photographs. I uploaded a few of my own if you want to see them (hint hint) and to be honest my cars looked downright badass. The photo mode is fun because you can make you or other people’s cars look great with these special angles you can have that looks like they’re going and turning much faster than what they really do. You can edit it afterwards through colours and contrast and other thing I don’t understand. If you notice I’ve tried to find the photographs I took in the game of my cars but I couldn’t find them online so fuck that.

The rewind system clearly helps if you make a mistake but makes it clearly easier and feel you’re cheating. I probably could have played it without rewind but I couldn’t help myself. The visuals are just stunning. Even my dad was impressed with the way it looked. Each piece of environment was greatly detailed and the cars just look better. I haven’t tried it with my HDMI yet but I have time :). I can’t imagine how great that will look like.

The summary is, great game, vast choice of cars, great controls but rewind feels like cheating.


Clover out.